Story of a village with only one restaurant: PAPCH Garden

http://www.tremeritus.com/2012/01/17/story-of-a-village-with-only-one-restaurant-papch-garden/
Story of a village with only one restaurant: PAPCH Garden
January 17th, 2012 | Author: Contributions

There is a village that only has one restaurant. Everyone in the village has to eat at that restaurant PAPCH Garden which serves $10 XO Chye Tow Kueh.

Villager: Why can’t we have more than one restaurant?

Head Waiter: Our village is at a critical point in it’s economic development where more than one restaurant can lead to chaos, so we only have one restaurant. Also, if there are other restaurants, I might get distracted and be unable to concentrate on my job.

Villager: But the food here is really not good! And it’s very expensive because all the staff are paid so much. And it’s also full of outsiders from other countries eating in it – and you have them working in the kitchen too, taking away ours jobs.

Head Waiter: Our restaurant is a small one. If you were to open another restaurant, the prosperity of the village would be fundamentally threatened.

Villager: But can’t it be a little cheaper?

Head Waiter: That would not suit the conditions of our village; the restaurant also needs to develop. We need to pay top dollar to attract top talents for our restaurant.

Waitress who called herself Ms Eff You: When I made the decision to join the restaurant in 2006, pay was not a key factor. Loss of privacy, public scrutiny on myself and my family and loss of personal time were. The disruption to my previous career was also an important consideration. I had some ground to believe that my family would not suffer a drastic change in the standard of living even though I experienced a drop in my income. So it is with this recent pay cut. If the balance is tilted further in the future, it will make it harder for any one considering joining the restaurant.

Villager: But the employees of the restaurant are all driving Mercedes Benz! And living in bungalows! And some of them have more than 10 houses.

Head Waiter: To ensure fair and uncorrupted staff, you need to pay them high salaries. This is what it is called, a transparent wage. If you really want, we will form a committee to decide on the staff wages, then talk about it in front of you even though we have already made a decision.

Villager: But last year, you lent all the profits of the restaurant to Temashit store and Jee Ai See Corporation!

Head Waiter: This is the village policy, you don’t need to worry about it. We are in it for the long term.

Villager: I heard that the Jee Ai See guy in charge of purchasing bought all the worthless shares that have since lost all their value – 50 billion American peanuts worth.

Head Waiter: That type of employee is very rare.

Villager: Then why did you promote him to make him President of the restaurant company?

Head Waiter: We have already volunteered him to take a pay cut of 51%.

Villager: But he’s still the best paid President on earth!

Head Waiter: Let’s move on. You have misunderstood me.

Other villagers: And the water from kitchen flooded our houses the other day!

Waiter in-charge of drinks: Ah, that was just ponding which happens once in 50 years.

Villager: And what about the time your restaurant system broke down for over 4 hours and trapped over a 1000 people inside?

Restaurant Valet: Don’t worry, we will have a committee of inquiry on this matter. Also, that chef responsible has also left to pursue personal interests. And the second chef has also left earlier to pursue personal interests.

Villager: So when we’ve got so many problems, why do you still hang up certificates of high quality? Why do you tell outsiders that everyone is eating so well? There are some people in our village who have no houses and not enough to eat.

Waiter in-charge of drinks: What do you want, 3 meals a day? Anyway, you misunderstood me. I am sorry you are upset about your misunderstanding me.

Villager: The grain was grown by the peasant farmers. The village was built by the first generation villagers and the its security is undertaken by all our our young male villagers for 2 years of their lives.

Head Waiter: Look, New Singapore Shares!

Villager: I can’t even get a decent meal, what do these other things have to do with me? Why don’t other villages have all these problems that we have here?

Old Waiter: Whenever you talk about yourself, you only say bad things. When you talk about others, you say everything is good. You are so complacent. You need to have spurs stuck in your hide. You must repent!

Villager: Eh, but down the road there is a new hawker stall with a hammer sign. The food quality looks quite good and the staff wear blue uniforms. Also, they smile at you and try to help you. They have a chye tow kueh chef who was trained in Beijing to make XO chye tow kueh and many other things. He has even taken a pay cut to come back and help our village out.

Major General (NS) Waiter: But hor, even though they only charge you $1.50, you might not want to eat it because the quality is not good leh. (Turning to the other waiters) If you guys agree with me, Kee Chiu!

Old waiter (getting angry): If you choose to go to that hawker stall, then I say good luck to you. You have five years to ruminate and to regret what you did. And I have no doubts you will regret it. At the end of the day, you should ask yourself: Do you want a celebrity chef who has been away 30 years and a bunch of non-scholars to serve you?’

Head Waiter (quickly cut in): Please bear with us. We’re trying our best on your behalf. And if we didn’t quite get it right, I am sorry but we will try and do better the next time.”

Villager: Too late. 39.9% of us are going to try the stall. I hear it’s in Aljunied.

.

Karen Teoh

* From http://www.danwei.com/a-village-with-only-one-restaurant/ with some uniquely Village amendments.

* Personal note: I think the Chye Tow Kueh was the last straw for me after the spate of recent news about pay, SMRT and ‘ponding’. Anyone want to make a video/podcast with it? Might be interesting to hear it “acted’ aloud. At the end of the day, this is just a light-hearted post to blow off steam, laugh about it – then go eat at the other hawker stall in Aljunied in 5 years time. Hope they will be setting up franchises in different parts of the village. Please share and repost – and remind people to eat at the other hawker stall when they next have the chance.

* Editor’s note: Have also added some further amendments to Karen’s amendments. Feel free to add further and share it around

Active Aging 活跃乐龄

在地铁上看到一位老妇，跟他攀谈后知道她已经八十岁了，最小的孩子已经五十多岁了，孩子在某地卖很出名的果条汤面。感觉他硬朗、愉快。太太还提醒我她的皮肤和样子只像五十多岁。

想起国家在推的Active Aging，活跃乐龄计划，不竟莞尔。穿着泳装在台上走猫步？学习年轻人的时髦玩意儿？

地铁上老妇人坐下，从袋子里拿出装着食物的盒子（要带给谁分享：我想），把盒子盖上的蒸气水擦干（以免潮湿的水份加快食物的损坏。我想）。盖回盒子后，擦干脸上汗水，从瓶子喝了一大口水。（我提醒太太保持水份对于皮肤保养的重要性）

健康、乐观、愉快、乐观、分享、养生、注重卫生、活跃乐龄 …… 老妇人可能不知道这些概念，她可能也不知道为什么她会这样愉快的生活着。

我没有否认从国家机器的角度，推广XX运动是重要的。但是观看事物的角度，受惠者到底是谁是重要的思考。

Active Aging…… 活跃乐龄…… 抱歉，但是，我不竟又想要偷笑了。

（网上照片：https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid3oqxt9G5Pb7fr9OE2VL05PfDTEAK6NlKWOyhIwpJpMlin8h6QFvsWLWcf8_5yAjc-qwKKfMqRUMKShK7-zoq2bjFeSAqInLTkLJqYoWAzIQ-EF7c7HbK5PfgmRSBuDu3wnqxO-RLtRM/s1600-h/AAC_hmpage.jpg）

販賣宗教？！

看到報紙上老虎的新聞，說他在手上戴了一個代表佛教的手鐲，馬上覺得事有蹊蹺，這可能是表面的作為。上網找了資料，發現雅虎英文新聞報導質疑他是否如他所說的虔誠，將會常常戴著這代表佛教的手鐲，而且還以照片來說明他之前其實沒有戴著代表婚姻的戒指。報導指出很多名人在發生了醜聞後，常常以宗教來包裝自己。

http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/blog/devil_ball_golf/post/What-was-the-story-with-Tiger-s-Buddhism-bracele?urn=golf,229463

前幾天去面試的時候，主持面試的是我申請的部門主管，當他介紹他的部門的時候，說機構有八間中心。因為我有在面試前先看看機構資料的習慣，我就問說機構不是像網絡上說的，有七間中心嗎？當時我只是想要確認網絡上資料的準確性，結果，這年輕的主管當場就對我表現得完全沒有興趣，匆匆問了幾個問題就結束面試。我結束前還是不厭其煩的表示我對於社區工作的經驗和熱情，但是看起來卻對於機構是沒有幫助的。

後來，就跟朋友zy說：在台灣的大學象牙塔幾年，我變得太單純，而且有點白目了。

後來想想，也對。這機構在2008年換了一個機構主管，1995年以來本來只有四間中心，在這幾年就開展多三間中心，而且無論學生人數或者社會能見度都增加了。這絕對不是社區工作的經驗和熱情就能辦到的，一定是在公關能力和市場銷售做了很大的努力。我想這兩方面都不符合他們機構這幾年的市場定位。

島國的梁導演在發生外遇事件後還表示他會把他的事件拍成電影。

我想這世界真的變了，宗教、社區發展、甚至醜聞都可以當成商品來玩弄摆賣。我想我真的要拾回我油腔滑調的能力，才能在這社會上生存。

天語篇之靈缽一夢

星期五黑暗的感覺又降臨，喉聲改變成好像帶痰的聲音。四周的光線也慢慢的黯淡下來。空氣彷彿冷了下來，狼嚎聲聲不斷。勾起心內的黑色力量，不是憤怒，也不是怨恨，是淡淡玄冥幽暗的漩渦從腹部昇起。不讓人發現，悄悄的，巧巧地，從身體滲透出來，交織在光的線的當中，不驚動任何人，在暗暗的作用著，然後竊竊地在微笑著，笑著人間喧擾，然後不動聲色的離開，殘渣下不削的滿足。

 

星期六當老師坐在我們的中間時，我意識中竟然出現了父親的形象。在黃光白光煙火的燦爛中，靈氣竟然像胸中住著一尾小魚，幽游地在我身上搖擺著它的身體，然後化成手掌上熱熱的暖氣，在地圖的身體，遨遊任意的進行漩渦或者上下左右的震動，震得人心不得不得自我反省。懷疑自己是否真的得到點化後的自由，或亦上天開的一個玩笑。

 

星期一ZY敲著阿邦老師的泰國機器拋磨成的頌缽，釋放了夢魅的殘餘，進入我的睡眠中的訝異，驚醒了出家修行的道行，旋轉成一個不知名的暈眩，久久不能自拔。回想著人間被排擠與排擠，靈的神威氣得無所是從，於是得令或非令只是一種傳說中的人間煙火，不得從失眠黑暗的ilya逃離。終於在艾草的催促下，逃不出周公的五指山孫行者的那泡尿。

 

星期二得令於母娘虛空神威。勝安宮的廟祝，不是廟公在掃刷著香灰，不會趕走香客，希望拔頭香順便進香過香還是還鄉。天語和母娘溝通的不知所云之中。在裊裊的過火後的機車也就心安理得，飛馳到蒲團在法華山的打坐，心無掛礙的無有恐怖是一種寬心的舒適。終於得到解脫大道，心凊慾寡回到母娘的虛空太空家鄉。得到安眠，殊勝且獲得涅盤，生成愛莉絲。

水調KUSO

夏日繡簾卷，勿忘我悟空

浩然多一點，人望快哉風

 

 

飄簾卷迎冬，吾忘我*物空
浩然無千里，一點快哉風**

 

 

──水調歌頭KUSO版

 

* 莊子˙齊物論：「今者吾喪我。」郭象˙注：「吾喪我，我自忘矣，天下有何物足識哉！」

** 蘇軾《水調歌頭--黃州快哉亭贈張偓佺》原文為“一點浩然氣，千里快哉風”

范曉萱&100%「管他什麼音樂」MV

看看一些另類的歌曲和舞蹈吧...

屌 -- 有點粗話的MV，點進來表示你可以接受粗話，責任自負，版主不負責看眼鼻耳科的醫藥費

周杰伦的吊-(明志original)

饒舌 (Rapping) 屬於嘻哈文化(Hip Hop)的元素。嘻哈文化本來就是一種美國弱勢黑人的反社會文化，常常雜混著很多粗話。如果以社會學的觀點分析，下階層黑人的語言本來就是這樣。嘻哈文化讓年輕人離開街頭的罪犯，有一個可以發洩自己精力的方式。

hip hop
"Instead of getting into trouble on the streets, teens now had a place to expend their pent-up energy."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hip_hop

黃兄在台灣六年，台灣又深受日本美國文化影響，所以態度比較開放，可以了解。其實我還蠻喜歡他的率性和直接的性格，這是台客和嘻哈文化的共同點。可是是不是需要用粗口這樣的方式，這個就可以商權。像羅大佑早年雖然也是寫了很多支持弱勢的反社會的歌曲，但是他沒有用粗話。用黃兄的話來說：“學習別人的東西，要懂得過濾。”

但是我還是覺得黃兄還蠻屌的。

扁要美指示馬英九放人 美：不是控告是請願

http://tw.news.yahoo.com/article/url/d/a/091010/1/1splf.html
扁要美指示馬英九放人 美：不是控告是請願
更新日期:2009/10/10 10:35

美國軍事上訴法院今天表示，陳水扁沒有「控告」美國政府，而是向美國政府「陳情請願」，請求美國訴法院下令馬英九總統撤銷對他的無期徒刑判決，並且立即釋放他。(劉芳報導)

位在華府的美國軍事上訴法院於星期二宣布，對陳水扁所提的案子沒有管轄權，所以不予受理。陳水扁到底告美國什麼呢？軍事上訴法院今天表示，陳水扁沒有「控告」，而是向美國「尋求救濟（request relief）」。陳水扁在陳情書中說，他是美國軍政府的代理人，八年總統任內，他其實是美國軍政府在台灣的行政長官，始終服從美國軍政府的旨意，在許多事上接受美國在台協會主席的指示。

陳水扁說，在台灣，美國軍政府是最高權力機構，他就是這個最高權力機構的代理人。唯有危急時刻，他才會證實軍政府的存在，而現在正是關鍵時刻，所以他要求美國軍政府出面干預，保護他。

陳水扁說，他不談台灣的主權，只要求軍事法院責成軍政府做到下列幾件事。第一，承認他的代理人身份；第二，承認他的所作所為都根據這個代理人身份；第三，指示現任的行政長官馬英九撤銷對他的無期徒刑判決，並還他自由。

美國軍事上訴法院表示，國家元首自貶身價，變成占領區的行政長官，法院從來沒看過這種事。

中廣記者劉芳美國華盛頓報導

楊蕎安(大大)&同恩&夏宇童-愛你愛到死

海角七號 - 愛你愛到死
作詞：嚴云農 / 作曲：呂聖斐
演唱：楊蕎安(大大)&同恩&夏宇童

喔~ 愛你愛到不怕死 Baby 愛我請你讓我瘋狂一次

愛是什麼東西 不過就是種遊戲
情是什麼玩意 不就是玩玩而已
Honey Darling Baby 或是叫我小親親
只要哄我高興 冥王星都陪你去

喔~ 愛你愛到不怕死 但你若劈腿 就去死一死
喔~ 愛你愛到不怕死 Baby 愛我請你讓我瘋狂一次

愛是什麼東西 不過就是種遊戲
情是什麼玩意 不就是玩玩而已
Honey Darling Baby 或是叫我小親親
只要哄我高興 冥王星都陪你去

喔~ 愛你愛到不怕死 但你若劈腿 就去死一死
喔~ 愛你愛到不怕死 Baby 愛我請你讓我瘋狂一次

喔~ 愛你愛到不怕死 但你若劈腿 就去死一死
喔~ 愛你愛到不怕死 Baby 愛我請你讓我瘋狂一次

地铁优先座位将改名为预定座位

http://realtime.zaobao.com/2009/05/090523_23.shtml
地铁优先座位将改名为预定座位

（2009-05-23　3.05pm）

　　（新加坡讯）国第三阶段的地铁环线将在5月28日正式启用，连接南北地铁线和东北地铁线。

　　新明日报报道，我国公共交通理事会今天特地开放5.7公里长的地铁环线第三阶段给公众预先参览。公众从早上9时至傍晚6时，都可到碧山地铁站，乘搭免费的地铁环线服务。

　　此外，从今天起，应让给老弱残幼坐的“优先座位”（Priority Seats）将改称为“预定座位”（Reserved Seats）。

　　当局与地铁公司认为，新名称比原来的名称更有主导性，让乘客明白这些位子应该留给有需要的人。

　　新捷运和SMRT也统一“预定座位”的贴纸颜色，从原来的青色贴纸该成蓝白贴纸。

《联合早报网》
（编辑：杨丽娟）

崖上的波妞

《崖上的波妞》（日語：崖の上のポニョ）是由宮崎駿導演、編劇，吉卜力工作室製作的長篇動畫電影，於2008年7月19日首映。
http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%B4%96%E4%B8%8A%E7%9A%84%E6%B3%A2%E5%A6%9E

我們研究所上老師的助理最近養了一只不到兩個月，可愛的狗名字就叫波妞，但是因為是男生，所以變成波牛牛，我們都迷上它。這首是《崖上的波妞》粵語版的主題曲。

孔子印名片

http://plog.hlps.tcc.edu.tw/plog/post/1/73
孔子收到美國「世界漢學國際研討會」的請柬， 邀他在開幕典禮後作專題演講。
孔子十分高興， 準備先去印一盒名片。

文具店老闆見聖人來了， 異常恭敬，問清楚名片要中英文對照， 就對孔子說：
「英文的一面，不知該怎麼稱呼？」
「不是有現成的Confucius嗎？」孔子反問。
「那是外國人對您老的尊稱， 把『孔夫子』拉丁化的說法。」

老闆笑笑說， 「您老不好意思自稱『孔夫子』吧？」
「那倒是的。」
孔子想到自己平常鼓吹謙虛之道，
不禁沉吟起來。

「那，該怎麼印呢？」

「杜甫昨天也來過，」老闆說。

「哦，他的名字怎麼印的？」孔子問。
「杜先生本來要印Tu Fu，」老闆說，「我一聽表示不好，太像『豆腐』了。」
杜先生說，「那就倒過來，叫Fu Tu好了。」
我說，「那更不行，簡直像『糊塗』！」
「那怎麼辦？」孔子問。
「後來我就對詩聖說：
『您老不是字子美嗎？子美，子美……有了！』
杜甫說：『怎麼有了？』
我說：『杜子美，就叫Jimmy Tu吧！』」

孔子笑起來，叫一聲「妙！」

「其實韓愈也來過，」老闆又說。

「真的呀？」孔子更好奇了。
「他就印Han Yu吧？」
「本來他要這樣的，」老闆說。「我一聽又說不行，太像Hang you了。
韓老說，那『倒過來呢？』
我說，「You hang？那也不行。
不是『吊死你』就是『你去上吊吧』， 太不雅了！」
「那後來呢？」孔子問。
「後來呀，」老闆得意洋洋，
「還是我想到韓老的故鄉，對他說：
『您老不是韓昌黎嗎？』他說『是呀』，
我說就印Charlie Han好了！」
「太好了，太好了！」孔子笑罷， 又皺起眉頭說，

「他們都解決了，可是我到底怎麼印呢？」

老闆想了一下，叫道，「有了！」「怎麼樣？」

孔子問。「您老不是字仲尼嗎？」老闆笑道。
「對呀，」孔子滿臉期待。
老闆大聲道「而且還曾週遊列國，那就印 Johnny Walker 好了！」

新聞太嚴肅了，來點無聊的。GCE "air" Levels Hokkien Exam Paper

http://yunyann.multiply.com/reviews/item/70
GCE "air" Levels Hokkien Exam Paper

Instructions:
1. Read the passage carefully
2. Grade yourself with the grading system at the end of the passage after reading.
3. Not that difficult, chin chai do lah !

Section A: Orrler Exeminetion (60 marks)

Question: Singalella why become rich ?

Koo zhar wu chee ay char bor kia, Singalella.
She got two sisters, but the stepmarder and the sisters all damn kuai-lan, so she quite zhia-lat oso.
Last time Singalella got own maid, but now she become the amah.
Everyday must cook lah, clean lah, simi sai mah bao-kah-liao.
If her sister say liak kar zhuak, she liak.
Tak jit zho kah tau-hin.
EPF poon boh.
But then, kay piak eh ah-pek got one son call Ah Ming got party.
So he say, 'oeh, long chong lai ah.'

Singalella very happy because she never go party before but then her step-marder say, 'Lee Mana eh-sai kee, this one bahru lu eh sisters wu standard.'
Then Singalella must zho sui-sui for her sisters and step-marder.
Tap pai how, buay zhia, buay koon and buay pang-sai.
That night she only can wave bye bye and then she go back to the kitchen and cook Maggi mee.

Her neighbour came over and ask, 'Eh, an-zhua lu boh kee party?'
So Singaalella kong, 'I-wan, lau-bu kong buay-sai, so boh pian.'
She never expect but the neighbour say, 'Aiyah, kee lah, I give you money.'
So singalella brush teef and zhang-zhui, chen-kor, after that look very different.
She quickly run to opposite of the beh-chia-lor, already 11 o'clock.

At the party, Ah Ming also quite sian because the char bor all boh sui one.
Dance floor even got one ah pek dancing.
Just as Ah Ming told himself, 'Aiyah see-pay zhia-lat', Singalella came in.
Ah Ming straight away lau nuar.
'Wah-lau eh, see-pay heng ah, chee kor buay pai.'

Ah Ming say to Singalella, 'eh, sui eh, wah ai kah lee zho flen!'
Singalella say ok but Ah Ming like octopus, touch here touch there.
But then just it was 12 o'clock, one ah pek die on the dance floor.
He become ghost and tell Singalella all the good 4D number.
So after that Singalella quickly go and buy 4D, and then tiok tau-pio, zhit-pak ban.
So she pay back the kay-piak eh lau-kay-poh and then kah kee cho sen-lee.
Simi kuan eh sen-lee wah mana eh zhai.

Section B: Grades - Gauge Your command of Hokkien....

A1. Can understand the story and pronounce Hokkien correctly.
Hokkien eh sai, bo beh zao.

A2. Can understand half story and/or cannot pronounce Hokkien properly.
zhia lat

E8. Don't understand story and/or catch no ball.
leow leow, mai ka lang kong you is Hokkien Singabolean

F9. Don't understand rating.
kee see lah, wah mana eh zhai lee kong simi?